Aye'm back

Contd from way down below, in case you are not one of the approximately three people who read this blog regularly :-)

A fierce wind( by ant standards) shook Aye out of his unconsciousness. He was lying on his back, his legs curled up in the air; not an ideal position for an ant(unless he’s intent on suicide) and very much a bother, Aye thought to himself. His head was spinning. Microscopic flying creatures seemed to him to be circling his head. He tried to lift up his head but fell back instantly and passed out, again.

After what seemed an eternity and after passing out and then back in, again and again a couple of times more, Aye woke up and felt a little stronger. He still lay on his back, conserving energy and trying to figure out a way to get back to ideal ant posture. Above him, light filtered in through the black tangled hairy canopy. He could see some green through the gaps and above that a little blue.

Aye thought of his life. Until yesterday, he was leading such a blissfully normal life ; waking up when his shift started, obeying orders, talking non sense with the blokes in his battalion, making fun of the queen...Now look at him, flat on his back, staring at his own pointy butt and lost in some weirdo’s head! Things sure can change in a split second loss of balance. Sigh.

His colony, his sweet, organized colony with its airy chambers and regular food supply lay God knows how far away. Food, oh food! He was famished and this place was sterile as only it could be. Not that he had any use for human head fauna now. The situation he was in, he’d better pray that no other insect discovers him and gobbles him up whole, legs and all. An ant with his legs up is the dream of many a creature of the insect kingdom and generally, considered an musing sight by all, especially humans, Aye thought to himself. There was this one time when one of his friends was over turned by a human and left in that state. He was discovered hours later, (ant hours of course) being taunted and about to be devoured by a baby lizard(who by the way, would not dare to even look at an upright ant!). There were many such stories... All of which reminded Aye that he should probably make an attempt to stand on his legs again ( that is if they still worked)

“Now how do I do that?”

“Help!”

“No one?...”

Aye was sure his head wasn’t quite normal. Who was he calling out to anyway? He was on a desert; the Kalahari equivalent of any place an ant could be. Oh well. Now what?

It was all the hair. One strand was pressing him down; making it impossible for him to get up. His legs were asleep from all the upside down action, which didn’t help the situation either. Aye sighed. This day was going just great! He closed his eyes and tried to think… Various types of food marched by in a procession inside his head. Caterpillars, cake crumbs, drippy little drops of honey. “ No aye, focus. Foo-cus!” He shouted into his own head. It was no use. They all came marching in, background music playing, as soon as he closed his eyes. Maybe he should think with his eyes open. Hmmm.

“AHHHHHH!!!!” …. It was Aye, his eyes were open now, and staring into another pair of eyes, (actually a lot of eyes, he didn’t know how many, but on one head for sure) staring right back at him.

"Weeeeehhhhhh!!!!".. It was the creature staring into Aye’s face from above. Plop! He/she/it jumped to the side in fright and looked at Aye from a distance, eyes, all of them bulging.

Aye closed his eyes back with lightning speed. He was taken by terror. Breathe. Breathe. Its probably just a hallucination. These things happen. His head had been hit... Its perfectly natural. Just a hallucination.. nothing else. “is it gone?? ..Oh please be gone!”

Aye opened his eyes a slit. There was nothing above him. Phew! He now opened wide and looked around (okay, not exactly a-round, but he looked left, then he turned his head and looked to the right). There was nobody. “Good lord, thankyou!.. It was just a weird…

“hu aaare yuuhh???..” A timid voice squeaked behind Aye’s head.

Horror.

Aye froze. Then screamed out and in his utter complete fright, propelled his body upward in a super human, ahem, ant motion and scrambled up the hair strands pressing above him. He was on his feet again. He himself couldn’t believe how he had managed to turn upright in such a split second. He was slightly proud of himself. No wait, this is not the time. Snap back now..!

The sun fell lightly on Aye. He looked down from where he was perched to see what it was that had stealthily stood behind him and frightened all the formic acid out him. He saw a creature a little smaller than him. Its eyes were enormous on its transparent, puny looking body. What the hell is this thing? Aye tried to remember all the creatures he knew. This one looked so weird, it was almost invisible except for the giant eyes…

“Its a spider!! Ofcourse! How could he miss the legs, all eight of them?.. A spider!...

“Uh oh. "

"A spider.”

Spiders generally tend to eat ants. Hmm. Aye looked at the thing a little more closely. Thankfully this one looked like a baby and kind of stupid too. There it was, staring up at him with its mouth open, like he was from Outer space, wherever that is. What should he do now? He kept his eyes on the little spider baby and pondered. Maybe a little friendly conversation would be nice. But not too friendly,he told himself; he should establish that he was boss .

Aye looked at himself. Hmm. Perching up here like a tailless monkey wasn’t exactly saying I am the boss. “I should get down.”

He took a deep breath, smoothened his antennae and got down slowly, eyeing the spider all the while. It stood there still, gaping as stupidly as ever.

“Hello there” Aye said in a croak, (he was trying to sound gruff ofcourse) “who are you?”

The spider looked at Aye closely with all of his thirty thousand or so eyes.

“elooh.. I am , ... I am Yoohoo... Can I eat you?”

Aye’s eyes banged against their sockets. Brain hemorrhage. His mouth froze into a twisted, shell shocked expression. Panic. Panic. Okay. Calm down now, he told himself. Look cool. He’s half your size, get a grip!

“Ummm…,” Aye looked down at ‘yoohoo’ and considered him for a minute,

“ No. No you can’t.”

“Ohh.”

‘Yoohoo’ stared down at the scalp for a while. Aye prepared to bolt.

Then the little spider looked up; he was back to smiling again.

“okay.”, he said,

“Huu can I eat??”

Aye stared at the spider suspiciously. Is he that stupid or is he acting? Yoohoo looked on. He was smiling wide now, expectation writ large on his stupid baby face.

Aye was in a fix.

“Now I have to baby sit this eight legged dope?"

What, in the name of the big fat queen, was happening to him today??..First getting stuck on the dumb giant’s head with nothing to eat but stinky air and now another freak who’ll probably figure out a way to eat him if he doesn’t stuff something into his mouth!

Aye had never really believed in Ant Gods, (or evolution and even gravity for that matter, not that it mattered here) but he now prayed desperately for a way to get rid of the creature that stood in front of him, scratching itself with all four of its front legs. Good lord, please throw me something here...a little life jacket...

“ I’m, hunggrrreee….” A whiny little voice said.

It was YooHoo ofcourse. Aye tried to think of someway to pacify him. He realized that his brain may have gotten permanently damaged from the day’s trauma. He could come up with nothing. Absolutely nothing. Boy was he in trouble now. In a desperate attempt, he decided to strike up a conversation to distract the little devil’s attention from food.

“So YooHoo, my name is Aye. I am an ant…well an ant King really. My fellows and I are on an expedition here. They’re, they’re around here somewhere…haha, I wonder what they’re up to, you know soldiers, loot and plunder, loot and plunder. H aha…Ha.Ha. They,… They’ll be back any…”

A weird noise interrupted Aye’s imaginative discourse. It was coming from YooHoo. Aye stopped and looked at the spider closely. Is it going to turn into some mutant spider suddenly and attack? Aye perked up his antennae. The noise grew in pitch. Yoo Hoo had covered his eyes with his front legs. The little spider was crying! Bawling really. Aye was at a loss.

“YooHoo, don’t cry. Why are you crying?”

The spider wiped its thirty thousand eyes and babbled something incoherently. Aye deciphered the obvious. Food. The little thing is hungry. "Hungggreeee."

“What a pest”, he thought. Here I am hungry and depressed and in all probability about to crushed to death by useless hand movements of the dumb girl underneath and this Parasite won’t even allow me a minute of peace in my misery. He looked at YooHoo. He was crying his lungs out and evidently very, very sad. The screeching noise was getting on Aye's nerves. He cursed himself and the entire world and approached the bawling little spider.

“Now don’t cry YooHoo... lets go and see if we can find you something to eat. Won't that be nicee? hmm?Come on now...”

The spider looked up and wiped his eyes again and decided to stop crying. He looked hesitantly at Aye. Aye smiled back at him with a fake thousand watt smile. YooHoo suddenly brightened up and resumed his stupid smile from before; reassured by the affection coming forth from the ant. Well, that was easy, Aye thought to himself. At least the stupid smile is noiseless.

“Come on now, lets go look around” Aye said sweetly to the spider and started walking towards the girl’s forehead.

YooHoo followed his protector obediently, hobbling along on all eight legs.

Aye walked on ahead, trying to think. He turned around. The spider was following his footsteps closely. That very moment, a bright idea entered Aye’s mind.

“Muahaha... that should get him off my back!”

“Come along YooHoo” He called out to the spider and kept on walking.